Because my blog is so "depressing" (hee-hee!)

I feel like I deserve a lot. I wake up with the kids early in the morning. I make their breakfast, build Isaac's Thomas tracks, hold the clingy Theo, wipe their noses, let them cry themselves down for their naps, take them out on some "fun" adventure, worry about their health, and put dinner together all while I try and do some part-time work out of the house that allows us some financial flexibility. I deserve a day off. I deserve a night out with my husband without the kids. I deserve etc, etc, etc. I deserve squat. I deserve eternal existence without my Creator. Truly.

I disparately need to dethrone this idol of pleasure that I am so hotly pursuing!! I don't deserve to have fun every day! I am not owed anything! I'm not giving my 50% waiting for Matt to match with his 50% (ha, his own sermon illustration.) How clear this idol of pleasure has been made to me this past week. Do you know how it works itself into surfacy sin? I get angry at my kids for not taking naps at the same time... so that I can have time to my self. I'm frustrated with my Isaac right now because it's 9:05pm and he STILL is not asleep. I am INCONVENIENCED. Oh Lord, that you would change my heart... that Your grace would permeate and change my heart.

On a different note, this evening after our dinner & during our family's devotions we said the Lord's prayer with Isaac repeating... "Hallowed be MY name..." he says so reverently... isn't that really what our hearts yearn for far more than what the Lord taught us to pray? Bah - another thing I need to work on!!

I continue to be addicted to craigslist.com -- I look at least 2-3 times a day. The things that I "need" to make my home complete (besides 10 more children as wonderful as the two I've got): an armoire (we have no closets in this teeny weeny home), new living room furniture (we're living with the set my parents had when I was growing up) and a bed.

Matt and I found this set of couches that we like - available only at Boscov's - while I really like them, I wonder if they are too trendy rather than "timeless," you know? We do have a fairly small living room and they are crazy narrow yet comfortable couches... so this would maximize space although my mother-in-law would not enjoy sleeping on this couch, I am sure. We'd go with the dark brown leather... comments welcomed. I hate making decisions!

Patty Griffin plays at Byham April 16th. I have yet to hear her new album (I know Tammy!!! Isn't that horrid?)

Rather random and meaningless post... just haven't posted in a while other than the videos and felt like I'd like to add meaningless content to all of my own vanity concerning my children!